Monday, February 2, 2009

Death of the Dish Fairy...

I know I should be writing about books and the process of being published but I'm in mourning...

As many of you know, I live an predominately male household. I do the cooking, the cleaning, the doggie sitting, the bovine nurturing. I’m even responsible for the hay and corn run each week. So last night after baby sitting the grandson, I was tired. I resorted to the low devilish trick of using a banquet lasagna dinner.My family sat down and began to eat. It was at this point that things began to get a bit rough.
My twenty-one year old son, who is the fire fighter, remarked how he cooked a pork roast for the firehouse and “Gosh, gee, mom, ( where is Wally and the Beaver) if any had been left I’d have brought you some?” (Damn, Eddie Haskell lives in my house)
Yeah, I was so thrilled. I put my fork down and gave that look. You mothers out there know what I’m talking about. The look over the glasses, the one void of any emotion, the one that says check behind you there’s an ass kicking coming - and said, “You cooked?”
I’ve haven’t seen an Adam’s apple bobble so since the last public hanging. He could only nod as the color left his cheeks, the poor fuzz cheeks that they are.
I smiled brightly. Good, I’m serving notice that I’m not cooking next Sunday. I can’t wait to see what you’ll fix.
“Oh but mom it’s different when I’m at the station. Everybody helps.” At this point somewhere in his brain he should have heard taps being played.
Yeah, my fingers began drumming on the table. My husbands got up, slid his plate and drink to the edge, and sat down, the chair angled ready to bolt.Really?
Helping IN THE KITCHEN.
Again that wild bobbing of the Adam’s apple. HUM…..Then my son picked up a terrible stutter.
I raised one eyebrow worthy of a Vulcan, and said. “Good since you understand help. I cooked. You clear the table and wash the dishes."
Hum… I cleared the table and went to work on my novel.
This morning, I scraped the sauce off my plates and washed the dishes.

Better break it to your children, the dish fairy is dead tonight and the tooth fairy is most likely next.

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